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What to Do When Coach Comparison-itis Hits

What to Do When Coach Comparison-itis Hits

Comparison-itis Can Hit Hard… You’re Not Alone

The other day, I was sitting in my car stopped at some train tracks. My 2 beautiful daughters were in the car with me. One was looking at a Christmas toy catalog and the other one was – shockingly – on her phone 😉 

As I waited for the commuters to disembark off the train, my mind started wandering and I seriously started worrying in a big way, which is unusual for me. I’m a pretty good “Trust the process” kinda CEO! But that day, I’m pretty sure my daughters could taste the stress pouring off of me! 

All of the sudden I noticed a bunch of movement out of the corner of my eye.

Next to me, also waiting for the train to pass and the gates to raise up, was a fabulously beat up old Honda with two 20-something girls in it. The movement that caught my eye was the two of them just plain rocking out. Hair flying, singing along, car shaking kind of rocking out! 

I became acutely aware of my stressed out, midlife mom life that was going on in my car. I wanted to be in THAT FUN car.  The Young Adult CarefreeMobile!

Does’t it feel that way in business sometimes though? Like you’re sitting in your Coach Mobile, worried and uptight and unable to move forward because of fear or overwhelm or whatever…

and in the Coach Mobile next to you, it looks like they’re having a ton of fun? They’re carefree and easily creating clients and income? They’re posting on social media like they’re a source of continuously flowing content that never ends? And get massive engagement? 

And you’re living the stressed out midlife mom-mobile life? 

UGH. Comparison-itis just STINKS.

No matter WHERE you are in your business… (and right now, I’m running the business I dreamed of 5 years ago…), that feeling of “Someone else is doing this better” can creep right in.

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Here’s a Few Simple Steps for Banishing Comparison-itis, and Getting Back To What You Love:


So what do you do when the Biz Mobile next door has better branding, messaging, income, clients, engagement, and All The Thing You Want?

1) Get out of ISOLATION – IT’S BAD. Business has pros and cons. The pro? You work for yourself. The con? You’re working for yourself. Get into a community or mastermind or FB group of coaches who are experiencing similar journeys. (Hint: I love mine! Join us and bring your comparison-itis. No judgement here!)

Getting out of isolation is the #1 thing you can do. Get with other coaches, admit the vulnerability, and 

2) Figure out which of your BUSINESS VALUES is being challenged or ignored. For example, I have a HUGE value on FUN, personally AND professionally. Seeing those girls in the car next door made me feel like crap about myself, because we weren’t really having any fun in my car. Opposite, in fact. The fix is usually so easy. For me, it was turn on a kids sing along station. For my business, it was to spend some time doing what I LOVE and getting on FB lives, writing, and learning – the things that are FUN to me.

3) This is a triggering one, are you ready? REACH OUT  to the business that triggered your comparison-itis and get into student mode. Do they have copy you love? Ask for their copywriter. Do they have branding you love? Ask how they did it. Seeing something we LOVE can be a great opportunity to get closer to it!

4) SHUT OUT THE NOISE. I’ve had to unsubscribe from business owners I LOVE because I needed to just plain stop triggering myself. I had to take myself out of the line of trigger fire until I was stronger. It’s OK to block, hide, unsubscribe, take a different route… you don’t HAVE to face your triggers!

I hope this gives you a few strategies to handle the very natural comparison-itis that comes along with running a business.

We CARE about what we’re doing… we’re coaches! It’s so natural that our hearts are on our sleeves.

I want to tell you that YOUR gift and YOUR energy is needed, even if you feel someone else is doing it better… NO ONE can do YOU any better than you can. 

Peace, purpose, and play,


PS: I drive a really fun 6-speed hatchback with a little turbo engine 😉 I’m fun! I swear. 

PPS: We’d LOVE to see you in The Coach’s Playground FB Mastermind. Later today I’m going LIVE like I do every week to give YOU specific guidance, coaching, and mentorship… so hop in! Don’t go it alone. It’s free, we’re here for you, and we have FUN.



I’m someone who LOVES to spend money on services and products!

I love to learn, I love everyone’s online course, and I love to continually refine my crafts.

I also love World Market rug sales, and books. Oh, so many books.

This week, I was in the market for over $2500 worth of products and services. But I only bought a bunch of books on Amazon.

Here’s what I didn’t buy:
√ An advanced online course on copywriting
√ Copywriting services (haha, see the irony?)
√ A mastermind on unleashing the feminine divine (I think I’m turning into a boy, between the karate and the sports cars)
√ 60 Cupcakes for my sister’s shower
√ Vitamin supplements for vegans
√ High end boxing gloves

(I resisted the World Market rugs. Barely).

This list doesn’t even include all the mailing lists I didn’t join, the FB pages I didn’t like, and all the opportunities businesses had to convert me into a warm lead.

In fact, I’ll probably never see any of those businesses ever again.

(Hint: This is a moral tale.) 

So why did I end up with more books (that I know I’m only going to read 3 chapters of), and nothing else?

Was it the price? Are courses and coaching services more expensive?

Sure, but that’s NOT why I bought the $9.99 book instead.

Is it the branding? 

Nope. In fact the reason I almost bought all those things was EXCELLENT branding, messaging, and copywriting.

In fact, most of those places had an awesome Instagram feed, or a really compelling FB post.

The difference is a big yellow button.

It takes me 10 seconds to order a book. In fact, Amazon makes it nearly impossible for me NOT to order a book!

==> It took me over 4 minutes to figure out how to even get NEAR the opportunity to buy or order from the other services. <==

People, I value my time. And my kids value my attention.

And in fact, it’s pretty generous that I even spent 4 minutes searching. (Only because I LOVE those cupcakes, I do! They’re worth my 4 minutes).

Most people are GONE within 10-30 seconds.

How does this translate to your coaching business?

Please, give your biz a BIG AUDIT after this post.  I’ve provided this checklist for you to use to go through your social media and website.

How hard are you making it for people to buy from you? 

More importantly, why are you making it so hard?

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    1) I didn’t know if it was for me. I came across an awesome-looking challenge the other day… the registration page was epic! The coach’s bio was amazing! The words were compelling. Except I had no idea if I could sign up. Was it for entrepreneurs? Professionals? Moms? I don’t think it was for moms. Maybe it was for moms! I don’t know. I clicked away because I was confused. 

    SOLUTION: Be very clear on who this is for. Say it aloud, and then speak to that person. Translate your coach jargon into muggle speak, please. No one knows who “empowerment + fulfillment” are for. The “life of my dreams” looks different for moms, vegans, and CEOs. If it’s for everyone, it’s for no one.

    2) I could not figure out how to get more information. There was NO website link on their personal FB page, and once I finally searched for their FB Biz page, there was no website. I gave up.

    Solution: Use the “ABOUT” or “BIO” section of your social media account to point people to your FB Biz page or your website right away. One click, no digging! Include it in the comments of your posts.

    3) I wasn’t invited to the party. I wasn’t in a place to buy at this moment but would LOVE to get their mailing list and get more info and wisdom. Too bad. Once I got through the post or FB live, there was no way to stay in the world of their business. 

    SOLUTION:  Each time you make a long post or a FB live or any marketing that calls people to you, please follow up with a link to your mailing list or opt-in. No mailing list? At least have a FB group, but honestly – that’s really not the best way to claim “property” in your business.  It’s a nice bonus strategy, but as we recently learned from FB’s outage – we can lose that “property” at any time.

    4) You made it about you, not me.  I was SOOOO into the content… and the next thing I know, the coach got needy. The post turned into “Please get on my mailing list SO I CAN COMMUNICATE WITH YOU,” or “Please fill out  my survey so I CAN MAKE SERVICES”.

    SOLUTION: When you want a potential customer to do something (a call to action)… Be sure to ask yourself What’s In It For Them? Why should I join your mailing list? Why should I visit your website? Why should I take your market research survey?  Then COMMUNICATE THE BENEFIT CLEARLY.

    5) There wasn’t anything to buy. This was kind of mind-boggling to me from folks who say they’re going to run a business… with nothing to sell. 

    Listen, *just* having a “Schedule a discovery session” call to action is off-putting. Coaching is still relatively new to the world. People want to be reassured that they can step into a discovery call knowing what it is they might purchase. At LEAST put a baseline package, with or without price, on your site, please.


    It’s more complicated than that, but it boils down to: People do the things that take the least response effort.

    In other words, I buy books off amazon prime because Big Yellow Button. In fact, it is literally called “One-click ordering”. <== LOW RESPONSE EFFORT

    Much less response effort than hunting down the cupcake lady on her very few hours in the bakery, having to look up the number each time because it’s not on their social media site, and having no pricing sheet on the site that guides me to know what I’m buying! <== HIGH RESPONSE EFFORT

    Response effort is behind all the science of why people buy. It’s important for you to audit your own site + social media profiles as though you were someone *just* interested in you for the first time.

    I’ve provided a very basic checklist to get you started. Pop your email in here to download it. Then come on over to The Coach’s Playground and tell me: What did you change in your business set up to invite people into your world more easily?